I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to do that.
I knew that Mrs. Zhang meant well and patted her hand to soothe her, “Mrs. Zhang, the worst thing about people is trying to change a person, I won’t change Fu Shen Yan, and I can’t, it’s probably fate, I’ll try to control myself in the future, I won’t argue with him, don’t worry!”
The youngsters must remember to cherish these days together. When you get older and look back at the past, you will find that the person you could have been with didn’t do their best, and the person you could have loved sweetly let go half way through. But if it’s all regrets, then it’s regrets.”
I nodded my head, not knowing what to say. Between me and Fu Shenyan, when you think about it, there is no big gap.
Most of it was just small, insignificant things, but it was the little things that piled up, and I had no way to explode, no way to talk about everything, too much resentment piled up in my heart, no way to let it go.
“Sister Zhang, thank you!” She could see clearly between me and Fu Shenyan and had the intention that we should live well, all out of the goodness of her heart.
Seeing that I didn’t seem to be taking her words at face value, she talked and said, “You’re a child, you’re too stubborn!”
I lost my smile and nodded my head repeatedly, “Mm-hmm, Sister Zhang is right!”
Seeing me like this, she was helpless, and after a pause she said, “Xiao Shu, don’t think that you are not in the heart of Mr. Zhang. Yesterday, Mr. Zhang came back and asked where you were several times, you had changed your phone and mobile phone, he thought you had left, he was so anxious that he asked around, and when he found out that you had gone to Jingcheng, he went to look for you overnight. You know, he just came out of the ward, the scars on his body are not yet clean, he needs to recuperate well, Dr. Cheng was afraid that something would happen if he went and stopped him, this morning he went out early to wait for you.”
After a pause, she sighed and said helplessly, “I see that this gentleman has you in his heart and eyes, and so do you, you obviously care in your heart, how come the two people just don’t want to live well together!”
“Sister Zhang, did you cook something downstairs?” I spoke up, interrupting her.
She couldn’t help but stop talking, smelled it, but was stunned and got up and said, “Oops, I made winter melon and pork ribs soup for mister!”
And with that, she hurried downstairs.
I sat in my chaise longue, looking at the chicken soup she brought me, and I couldn’t help but be a little distracted.
I had never even felt affection for more than a few years, let alone love. I could not love, nor had I learned how to love others.
My grandmother adopted me and showed me care and warmth in the few years I had, and I interpreted this as love.
Shen Yu’s extreme shoddiness and stubborn cold eyes, I interpreted him as bigotry.
Muzi’s guarding and following, I interpreted this as friendship.
And Fu Shen Yan, in two years, he treated me so well, so sparingly, that I really didn’t dare to think of these seams of goodness as love.
It was not my intention to mistake old vinegar for wine and sour half of my life.
I like Fu Shenyan, so I can put up with his dithering and cold eyes, but that doesn’t mean that I can play dumb and treat his cheap goodness as love!
It was late at night and I was exhausted, but I lay in bed for a long time, unable to sleep, having got used to sleeping with Muzi some days ago.
The wind outside the window was very strong, and the summer rain came with great haste.
A few gusts of wind and then a downpour of rain followed.
I couldn’t fall asleep, so I looked at the wall clock, which read 1am, and was so irritated that I put on my pyjamas and stood on the balcony.
Because I had gotten wet on the balcony last time, Fu Shenyan had changed the balcony so that the rain could not come in and all I could feel was the chilly wind.
I was so irritable and uncomfortable that my heart was clogged up, so I simply went straight downstairs and went out into the courtyard.
In the courtyard of the villa, Mrs. Zhang had raised many flowers and plants, and at this time, several heavy showers had fallen, causing these flowers to twist and turn, which looked very appropriate.
I couldn’t help but feel that I resembled these flowers and plants, and I couldn’t help but walk out into the courtyard and let the rain fall underneath me.
The rain was not cold, but it was pleasant. I couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable and squatted in the courtyard, weeping silently.
The rain was not cold, but it was a bit pleasant.
When Sister Zhang found me, I was crying. She was panicking and wanted to pull me back with her umbrella, but she was too old to do anything if I didn’t leave.
When she came out, she had her mackintosh in her hand and draped it over me, saying, “Shu, you can’t be so bad to yourself, you don’t care about yourself, you have to care about the baby in your belly.
I crouched on the ground and cried, wanting to let out all my grievances and frustrations.
The summer rain wasn’t cold, but I was pregnant, and squatting in the rain for an hour was too much for my body.
I was dizzy for a while!
I was surprised to hear the voice of Zhang’s wife, “You’ve finally come back, sir!”
I couldn’t help but turn around and see Fu Shen Yan at the front door, dressed in a black suit, his gaze thin and warm and angry as he walked towards me.
He picked me up and carried me into the villa.
He had a sullen face, and my eyes were a little uncomfortable after crying for a long time, so I didn’t want to look at him, so I simply closed them.
I didn’t want to look at him, so I just closed my eyes. When Mrs. Zhang saw that Fu Shen Yan had arrived, she didn’t come up to interfere.
As soon as the bedroom door was closed, Fu Shen Yan ripped the clothes off my body and carried me into the bathroom.
He didn’t say anything, so I naturally didn’t say anything either. The air was terribly quiet.
As time passed, my frozen body regained its warmth and my sore eyes healed a bit.
When I opened them slightly, I saw Fu Shen Yan looking at me with a gloomy face, his gaze deep and cold, and after a long time, his thin lips lightly opened, “Self-abuse? Is it fun?”
I frowned, lying in the bath naked and being watched by him, it was really uncomfortable, I got up, ready to get out of the bathroom.
He pushed me back, “Lie still!”
I wrinkled my nose and grimaced, “I want to sleep!”
“Heh, you’re going to go out and sleep?” Pressing me into the water, he grimaced, “Why did you go out into the rain?”
I pulled a towel over my body and said casually, “Bad mood!”
“In a bad mood?” He laughed coldly, “Everyone is in a bad mood like you and they seek their own death, now the streets are full of corpses, Shen Shu, are you torturing yourself or me?”