To save Yin’s family, I can understand, but to sacrifice my own family to save one person, I cannot understand.
I could see in the diary that my dad had a lot of disdain for what my grandfather was doing.
But my mother, who had probably been brainwashed by my grandfather since she was a child, didn’t think there was anything wrong with it.
I originally thought that Han Kun’s identity was strange.
Among the nine families, there was no one surnamed Han, and there were no neighbours around my grandfather’s place, so how could my mother have been a childhood friend of his?
Han Kun was the one who escaped from the Yin family back then.
Han Kun used to tell me that it was safest to hide a tree in the forest.
My grandfather thought even better than him and hid two trees in the forest so that it would be the safest.
The Kee family has an axe to grind, and if they kill the wrong Kee family, they will invite murder themselves.
Anyone who went after Han Kun would only have one chance, even if they found him and my mother.
It was a bewitching array with my mother’s life.
It’s just a pity that my grandfather thought well, but underestimated the greed of human nature, the most terrible desire in this world.
I don’t know what kind of feelings Han Kun had for my mother, but with a little more thought, I can appreciate his pain. He had real feelings for my mother, even if there was no love between a man and a woman, a childhood friend who grew up together, but a double who was going to die for himself.
Not only could they not be together, they had to be separated, one staying in the country, the other having to be sent to England.
I don’t know whether Grandpa was being cautious or sadly self-righteous in doing so, but he single-handedly created a tragedy.
But was it really his fault?
The Kee family was so isolated that outsiders didn’t know what was going on in the Kee family, but even so, Grandpa didn’t buy a baby boy from outside to replace Han Kun.
I really can’t say he was a brute B*****d, but he did ruin my mother’s life too ……
No wonder Grandpa hasn’t visited me since I was born, since he could even dedicate himself to my mother, let alone me.
I really don’t know what would have happened to my mum if she hadn’t met my dad back then.
No wonder so many people wanted to chase my mother and in the end she chose my father. Gangsters have always held on to those rotten rules to harm people, and only my dad dared to break those rotten rules.
My dad was also considered half a jianghu man, although he was born in a small fishing village, he had joined a thousand clans.
The Thousand Clans were the lower class of the jungle and were looked down upon by most people in the jungle, and because of this, my dad didn’t care to follow the rules of the jungle.
My mother was indeed very smart, but it was just a pity that she had been brainwashed by my grandfather since she was a child and had lost her spirit of rebellion.
What was recorded on these three pages was already so important, I really didn’t know what else would be on the next three pages.
All six pages were obviously torn out of the notebook specifically to skip pages, and what was recorded on them was to the point.
There were only two purposes for tearing them out, to try to take the messages out or to erase them.
The diary was given to Han Kun by Zhang Mei, and I don’t believe Zhang Mei is capable of taking these notes from my mother’s men.
When my mother was still alive, Zhang Mei was not capable of making a mess.
But let’s say that this was really torn down by Zhang Mei. Then Zhang Mei should have wanted to bring these messages to others.
The most important thing recorded in these pages of the diary was Han Kun’s true identity.
Zhang Mei must have read the contents of the diary, yet she did not divulge this matter.
So far, not many people in the jianghu knew Han Kun’s identity.
It is true that Zhang Mei likes Han Kun, but with her personality, I don’t think she can keep the secret for him. She likes Han Kun but can’t have him, so she only wants to ruin him.
So I think that maybe my mother tore the pages out of her diary and didn’t destroy them at the time. Maybe for some reason she had to hand the diary over, and she didn’t want anyone to see the pages, so she tore them out. But later, Zhang Mei got the pages of the diary.
Perhaps she failed to understand the contents of the diary, or had another hidden agenda, and she did not give away Han Kun’s identity.
My heart was heavy. With just these few pages and sentences, I could feel my mother’s misfortune back then, and I really didn’t know what else I would see if I continued reading.
I was afraid that I would die of anger, and that I wouldn’t be able to find anyone to vent my anger to.
After all these years, I can’t find my grandfather, let alone know if he is still alive, even if I want to find him and scold him.
I continued to read on with a sense of apprehension.
1 July Thunderstorm
Arjun went on a business run today, his solution might work.
Ge Lao will be in Tong tomorrow, what to do and talk about.
Han Kun thinks Arjun is imagining things, but Ge Lao and I both approve of Arjun’s approach.
I tried to talk to my father, but he wouldn’t answer the phone. The last time something happened to the family, Uncle Jiang helped the family retreat to a place that even I didn’t know about.
I thought that what my father had told me growing up was going to happen and they really wouldn’t care about me anymore.
I didn’t want to tell Arjun, but I didn’t feel good inside. If Arjun knew, he’d probably turn the whole of China upside down to find my family in hiding for me. But that didn’t have to be the case, the hard feelings could be taken away, and I was happy with Arjun.
I hope Arjun’s solution works, a covenant, an alliance, no more fighting and killing.
What happened that night in Jiangzhou may be quietly changing.
We are all in danger these days, more and more people are finding me, I’m losing things every day and I don’t know what they are looking for.
Maybe it’s because I’m on tenterhooks every day, I don’t sleep well and my spirits have become very low lately.
Arjun said he would take me for a check-up and I waited for him to return.
Jiang Ming is looking for me again, he pesters me every day, he has become more paranoid than when he was a child.
Did I promise to marry him when I grew up? Maybe, but I was still young at that time.
Now I just want to be with Arjun. Arjun will marry me, right? His sister came to see me, but I don’t think she can be trusted, Arjun wouldn’t treat me like that.
2 July Thunderstorm
Arjun is back, maybe I’ll have to write in my diary everyday.
I’m really afraid I’ll forget everything now, it would be terrible if I even forget Arjun one day.
The doctor says I am still in the early stages and it can be controlled, but there is very little clinical research in this area in China, so maybe I need to go abroad for treatment.
Arjun has been talking to me about going abroad today, and now he’s asleep and was talking to me about going abroad before he went to bed.
I really feel so happy and for the first time since I was a child, I have experienced peace of mind.
Maybe this is what it means to lose out and gain back. My family no longer has contact with me or protects me, but I have now found my real family.
No matter who stops me, no matter what the means, I will marry Arjun.
