Chapter 513
I didn’t wait for him to speak, I continued, “When I married you, I thought you were good at everything, a prince charming in every girl’s dream, I was blessed in three lifetimes to marry you, all I cherished was this conjugal bond, no matter what kind of trouble you and Lu Xinran actually had back then, I could accept it, I thought as long as I stayed by your side for a long time , you could see how good I was, and naturally you wouldn’t treat me like that, but it’s been three years.”
“Yes, it is true that you are no longer indifferent to me now, but Fu Shen Yan, let’s think about it, you are no longer indifferent to me, but the way you treat me is even worse than indifference, I am so tired, when I think of you now, all I can think of is to run away, the little love I have for you is not enough to support me to go on, all, I am sorry.”
There was indifference in the air, he did not speak, it was a long silence and silence.
After a long time, he spoke, his voice low and introspective, “What do you want me to do to stay?”
I froze for a moment, suddenly not knowing how to speak.
Seeing my silence, he broke my body so that I was face to face with him, “Shen Shu, I am trying very hard to run this marriage, tell me, what do you want?”
Looking at each other, I was a little tired and closed my eyes, unwilling to speak.
Yes, it seemed like the problem was me, something was wrong mentally, I couldn’t tell him what was wrong with me, but we would end up exhausted over the smallest thing every time.
I know divorce is not the answer, but I just can’t think of any other way to solve the problem.
“Fu Shen Yan, I ……”
“I know, what you want to do in the future just tell me, the Gu family, you can continue to manage, but just don’t get yourself deeply involved, the rest, you can do whatever you want, Shen Shu, stay, let’s live a good life, okay?”
I never knew that he could speak to me so calmly, with a tone of pleading and compromise.
It seemed that from the beginning, we had thought differently, me wanting to escape, him just wanting to solve the problem.
I didn’t say a word, my eyes were so hard to close, and I didn’t sleep very well this night, perhaps because of something on my mind, and perhaps because of my own bewilderment.
The next day!
I woke up naturally and opened my eyes to see, as an afterthought, Fu Shen Yan looking at me with a smile on his face.
I froze for a moment, “What’s wrong?”
He lowered his eyes, his gaze obscure, “Thinking about it?”
I was a little baffled.
Coldly, I remembered that I had drunk Chinese medicine last night and it seemed to have something to do with it.
After a moment’s hesitation, I got up and went into the bathroom. The doctor said that with the herbs, I should ma*sage myself and try to squeeze myself to see if I could achieve a lactogenic effect.
I turned on the shower and cleaned it, so I tried a few times on my own, but after all, I had never done it before, and in the end, I didn’t squeeze out anything, but it hurt like hell.
When Fu Shen Yan came in, I happened to be squeezing a little runny, and his sudden entrance scared me so much that I almost fell over.
Seeing me move strangely, he hesitated for about a few seconds and frowned, “What are you doing?”
I ……
Can I just tell him that I’m hyperventilating?
Pulling a bath towel, I wrapped my body tightly and looked at him, “Nothing, just taking a shower and washing up.”
This excuse …… is lame!
Naturally Fu Shen Yan wouldn’t believe it and blocked my way, his gaze shallow, “You tell me, or I’ll ask Jon!”
I ……
“Four Seasons is Muzi’s child, a premature baby, no milk, bad health, so ……” I said quickly, the latter words did not come out, he understood even if he was an idiot.
Chapter 514
He pursed his lips, a slightly embarra*sed look on his face, “So, you’re going to use your own?”
“What else do I need to do?” He sighed, a little helplessly.
“Eh!” Being an adult myself, and having given birth myself, looking to him, I spoke, “When the baby was taken out, it was a natural birth, so I had milk at first, then because the baby was gone and there was no stimulation from the baby, there was no prolactin production and it naturally weaned off.”
He frowned, “So, you’re getting it yourself now?” He was a little upset, “What did you take last night?”
I was honest, “Herbs to promote lactation.”
“The doctor said to combine it with ma*sage and other modalities ……” I pursed my lips, leaving the rest of my words unsaid.
“Ma*sage and other modalities?” He suddenly sneered, “Ma*sage yourself? And then plan to get it the other way how?” He was full of sarcasm in those words.
I pursed my lips, my heart pressed with anger, “Fu Shen Yan, are you funny?”
He was silent and didn’t say anything else.
For a long time, I spoke, “The child was born prematurely, her health is not good, plus there is no breast milk, now obviously the child is three months old, but it looks like it was just born, Fu Shen Yan, I grew up as an orphan, my grandmother raised me, it was my luck, now that my grandmother and Muzi are gone, she entrusted this child to me, what I have to do is to protect her with all my might. ”
I don’t know how to love people or how to accept their love, but I know that love has another word for being good to them.
It is because of love that I put myself in his shoes, and that is what this child is to me, and I give her all the good that I can do.
I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to do that. I’m not even an important person to you, Gu Han left you with regrets, but what about me? What am I? A dispensable husband?”
What Fu Shen Yan wanted, in fact I always knew, was just to be needed by me, to be put on my mind.
The light in the bedroom was dim and gloomy, but his eyes were extraordinarily bright, and when they met, I was unable to say anything for a while.
For a long time, he let go of me, some defeated back two steps, self-deprecating hooked lips, relieved.
“Shen Shu you’re good.” Seeing him turn to leave, I reached out, pulling him back.
I couldn’t tell you what my heart felt like, the action was almost subconscious, “I want to put you first more than anyone else, but I’m more afraid that one day I won’t be able to leave you and you’ll suddenly leave.”
He looked back at me, his gaze deep, “So, you ignore all my feelings? Putting everyone in your heart but me to hurt me?”
I shook my head and looked at him with some difficulty, “No, I didn’t want to hurt you, it’s just that I was so insecure, I was afraid you’d leave, afraid you wouldn’t want me!”
He hesitated for a moment, his long, tall body stiffened slightly, he reached out and held me in his arms, a little helpless, “Silly!”
I leaned against his heart for a moment, his voice low and introspective, “No matter how much we fight in the future, we can’t just get a divorce, Shen Shu, I won’t let you go, and I won’t divorce you.”
I didn’t open my mouth anymore, I was too stupid to know how to handle this marriage well.
……
It was already the end of the year, most of the companies had taken their annual holidays, and Fu Shen Yan had nothing to do.
I took Fu Shen Yan to the Yun Tong flat. Chen Xing’s company was not on holiday and was still busy, while Qiao En took care of the four seasons.
When he opened the door and saw me and Fu Shen Yan, he froze for a moment, then said with a calm face, “The Four Seasons have just fallen asleep.”
I nodded, entered the door and spoke, “Was she okay last night?”
“En, quite well!” As he spoke, his eyes fell on Fu Shen Yan, but with just a glance, he moved away.
Thinking about his college days, I couldn’t help but look at Fu Shen Yan and say, “This is Qiao En, my college cla*smate, you should know him.”
