“Baby, baby ……” called a million times, and I seemed to see a very small figure in a patch of light.
He was toddling towards me, so small that he walked unsteadily and stumbled.
I ran towards him and took the baby in my arms, looking closely at the child in my arms. He was so small, so tiny, with a red patch on his head, probably squeezed red because he wanted to get out of my belly quickly.
Little nose, little eyes, everything was so pretty, and he could smile, his little mouth curved up like a tiny flower.
“Shen Shu, Shen Shu ……” a low, distant voice came to my ears over and over again.
I tried to find the source of the voice, but all around me was white and I couldn’t see anything.
When I looked back to see the child, the child was gone, leaving me alone in a white layer of fog with no direction.
“Shen Shu, Shen Shu ……” the voice rang out again and I covered my ears not wanting to hear it and looked around hard to get to the child.
But the voice was like a magic spell, ringing in my ears over and over again.
I ran out of breath, shouting at the top of my lungs, “Baby, baby ……”
There was a sharp pain in my heart and I took a breath and opened my eyes violently to a familiar white colour.
Around me stood a group of doctors in white coats, all of whom were wearing masks.
Someone spoke up and said with relief, “Finally you’re awake, you’ve got your life back.”
“Eh, best protection, transfer to the intensive care unit, observe the situation after a day, stabilize and transfer to the general ward.”
In a daze, I was sent to the ward by a group of people, my throat hurt like hell, I couldn’t breathe and I couldn’t say a word.
After the anaesthetic had passed, the pain began to dense up and down my body, especially in my abdomen, the kind of pain that pulled at my nerves whenever I breathed a little.
“The doctor said you can’t eat for six hours, you can only drink water, and you can only eat after the anesthesia has passed.” It was no one else who spoke, it was Gu Han.
I never thought that he would be the last one to appear. I had thought of Fu Shen Yan and Shen Yu, but not him!
I couldn’t speak, I just looked at him, tears slipping down from the corners of my eyes.
He seemed to understand what I was saying and sighed slightly, “Take good care of your health, you will have a child later.”
My heart instantly felt like it had been torn open and salt was poured into the bloody spot, a dense pain began to spread and even my bones felt this pain.
Unable to control the pain in my heart, I began to tremble and sob incessantly. Gu Han held my hand, his face cloudy, his dark eyes hiding a deep, deep pain.
I don’t know how long it took, but I fell asleep in a daze, and when he called me a few times, I answered in a daze and drifted off to sleep again.
The pain began to spread every time I thought of it, and I could barely contain the sadness.
After three days, I was finally able to get out of bed and my voice could make a little bit of noise, grabbing Gu Han’s sleeve, my voice was still hoarse, “I want to see the baby!”
I couldn’t stop the tears from welling up in my eyes as I spoke, “At least, let me see, what does he look like?”
I wanted to see him.
Gu Han frowned, his brow vaguely throbbing, his veins vaguely rippling, “It’s in the morgue, I’m leaving it to the hospital!”
“No!” I opened my mouth, my voice tearing, pulling at him and shaking my head, tears rolling down my face, “Don’t throw him away like this, please, he’s my child, he came to this world once, even if he …… died, the afterlife should be left to me, the mother.”
He wrinkled his eyebrows, his dark eyes full of heartache, “Okay, you take care of your health, when you are well, then you can take care of it, okay?”
I nodded my head, my heart still ached, a pain that hadn’t stopped down the days.
Gu Han took good care of me, he hired two sister-in-laws for me, he didn’t leave out anything that a pregnant woman needs to take care of during her monthly period, he took care of everything for me.
The baby was suffocated and died in the womb, so the body was taken out by caesarean section, and there were long scars across my gradually flattening stomach.
Every time I touched it, some pain of memory began to spread, a pain that was silent and I had nowhere to talk about.
With the benefit of hindsight, I only found out halfway through the month that the hospital I was in was a private hospital, far from the capital, and belonged to Gu Han’s estate.
All these days, all my emotions were on the baby and I didn’t think about anything else, and now with the benefit of hindsight, I thought of giving Muzi Qiaoen a peace of mind.
I borrowed a mobile phone from my sister-in-law to call Muzi, but found that I couldn’t seem to remember any of the phone numbers, so I simply gave up.
Gu Han would visit me every day and every time he came, he would talk to me for a long time about finance and business, some of which I understood and some I did not.
I knew that he was being kind and did not want me to think about anything to do with my children.
As I watched the month go by, I was done with my month and was able to sunbathe in the courtyard and occasionally gaze at the flowers and plants in the yard.
It was now late autumn and the woods around the villa were withering, yellow leaves falling all over the place, making it easy to look sad.
“It’s windy outside, don’t stay too long!” A low magnetic voice rang out, I turned around and saw it was Gu Han.
I turned around and saw that it was Gu Han. I pulled a shallow smile and said, “You’re back!” I saw that he still had the papers in his hand, so he must have just come from the office.
Handing the papers to the nanny, he walked towards me and habitually bent down to pick me up, I hastily avoided it and said with a light smile, “I’m already better, I’m done with my monthly period and my wounds have all grown back.”
He had carried me every time before because my wounds were too big for me to walk around, but now that they were healed, I naturally couldn’t bother him.
He frowned, his dark eyes slightly averted, and said, “What would you like to eat later?” He was always like this, trying to get me something to eat, afraid that I would die of hunger strike.
I shook my head and smiled lightly, “I’m not hungry, I just ate this morning, I’m not hungry now!”
He turned back to the nanny, his voice low, “What time did she eat?”
“Seven o’clock in the morning!”
Gu Han frowned, raising his hand to look at the Swiss watch on his wrist, his dark eyes looking at me, “It’s afternoon now, you need to eat some food!”
I nodded my head, over the past few days, I seemed to have figured out his temper, although he had a cold face, he treated people quite well.
Perhaps it was because of the baby, I wasn’t able to eat anything down during the month, and I couldn’t eat afterwards, I didn’t feel hungry, if it wasn’t for Gu Han bugging me to eat at all times, I would always forget to eat.