Lu Xinran’s short speech speaks to Fu Shenyan’s heart. He grew up alone, and even if his grandfather doted on him and loved him, there was no way to satisfy the void in his heart.
Lu Yan’s brotherly love and Lu Xinran’s dependence and bond are what he wants.
Sometimes being needed is a form of love.
I stood by, unable to say what I felt. In fact, I knew from the start that there was no way I could compete with Lu Xinran, her tears were a barrier I could not surpass.
Watching Fu Shen Yan pull him up, watching his hidden tenderness, watching the movement in his dark eyes, I knew that all this time, I seemed to have worked in vain.
From the cemetery to the city, we were all silent, and apart from Lu Xinran’s sobbing, everything in the car was as quiet as a tape that had been muted.
At the traffic light intersection, I spoke first, a very flat voice, “Leave me at the front intersection, I’ll go back by myself later!”
Fu Shen Yan frowned and looked at me, “Where are you going?”
I pulled a seemingly soft smile, “I want to walk, Mu Zi wants to eat green mango, I’ll turn around and give it to her later!”
“I’ll go with you later!”
Realizing that I was emotionally unstable, I suppressed my tone and said, “Just leave me here, it’s close to the hospital, I can’t lose it, you go and see Miss Lu off first, after you see her off, you …… can come over again!”
He pursed his lips and was silent for a moment, his dark eyes fell on me, “Good!”
Hearing his words, I couldn’t help but sigh in relief.
When I got out of the car, I still had a smile on my face, very gentle, waving goodbye to them, everything seemed so normal.
As I watched his car go, I looked away, my head a little dizzy, my heart swelling as if it were being torn apart.
I reached for my phone to call Jon, but realised as an afterthought that I had left it in the sink last night.
The walk along the green belt was a bit bumpy.
The sun was blazing, but I was as cold as a body. Within a few steps, I couldn’t walk any further and sat on the side of the road tucking my head between my legs.
The uncontrollable tilting of tears was too fragile to be a big deal, and I don’t know why I reacted so badly.
I was a little dizzy from the sun and looking at Jon who had appeared in front of me at some point, I thought I was hallucinating and said, “Jon, my heart is blocked up.”
“What’s the matter? You’ll get heatstroke if you’re out in the sun like that!” His voice was loud as he lifted me off the ground and wrapped his arms around me to get into the car.
Surrounded by the cool air of the car, I came back to my senses and froze, “What are you doing here?”
He pulled a few wet tissues and gave them to me, “Came over to see Muzi and saw you abusing yourself on the side of the road, wipe your face!”
Taking the tissues, I lowered my eyes and wiped my face, clearing my mind a little, seeing another person on the passenger side, I froze and said, “Why is Mr. Chen here too?”
“Stopping by!” Chen Xing opened his mouth and looked at me with his head tilted on the chair, “What happened to you? Howling on the side of the road with a big belly?”
I pursed my lips and changed the subject to look at Jon, “Jon, we’re going to see Muzi later, you should go somewhere with me first!”
“Cell phone city! My phone’s broken.”
He nodded, started the car and changed directions.
Both the phone card and the phone were changed, I didn’t know much about electronic products, I originally thought Apple was good and I was used to using it, but I didn’t want Chen Xing to frown and say, “It’s better to change to a domestic one! It’s a bit safer.”
I went to the hospital to talk to Muzi for a while, and then I went to see Cheng Junyu. I came out to see Qiao En and Chen Xing leaning against the wall in the corridor, smoking, wondering what they were talking about.
Chen Xing didn’t seem too happy, his eyes were sparkling and he was glaring at Qiao En, as if he was a bit angry.
I stepped forward and spoke up, “Jon, you stay with Muzi for a while and talk, I have to go first.”
Before Jon could say anything, Chen Xing extinguished his cigarette butt and walked towards me, “I’ll go with you!”
Seeing that Qiao En looked bad, I didn’t quite understand what was going on with the two of them, so I simply said, “I’m not driving, I’ll take a taxi, you can wait for Qiao En later!”
“Okay!” Jon spoke up and looked at Chen Xing and said, “Wait for me together!”
Chen Xing frowned, “I’m busy, I don’t have time to play along!”
Jon: “I didn’t F**king ask you to play!”
These two were boring enough, after thinking about it, I left silently, said hello to Muzi, and I went straight back to the villa.
Originally I was going to go to the yoga studio, but today’s class was for couples together, Fu Shen Yan and Lu Xin Ran were together, he shouldn’t have time at this time, and I didn’t want to find myself in no pain, so I simply went back to the villa to stay.
Seeing the black Bentley in front of the villa, I couldn’t say for a moment whether I was angry or disgusted.
Shen Yu got out of the car with a gentle smile staying on his face, “Been waiting for you for a long time, where have you been? Why is your phone off?”
I froze in place, clenching my hands and holding back a look of disgust, “What are you doing here?”
He raised an eyebrow, “Checking on you …… guys!” His gaze fell on the sound of the small of my back with ulterior motives.
It was eerie in a way that I hated, “Seen it, can we go?”
If I could, I would never want to see this man again in my life.
Missing him, I went straight into Don’t Say and he followed me, blocking my way, his handsome face covered in gloom, “Shen Shu, are you going to spend the rest of your life with me in this way? I’m your brother, not your enemy, we’re the closest people in the world, why are you pushing me so far away?”
Looking at him, I restrained my emotions for a few moments, “How do you want me to get along with you? Shen Yu, you know very well in your heart whether we are the closest people in this world or not, I never pushed you, you were the one who went far away?”
“Your cold eyes, your stubbornness, your selfishness, made you and us get farther and farther apart!” When Grandma brought him back to Huai’an’s yard, I was full of joy thinking I had another family member, but what he did made me afraid, scared!
His face was a little complicated, as if he was grieving, but also as if he was laughing at himself, “You don’t want me either?”
Looking at him at a loss for words, I misplaced his eyes and lowered my voice, “I don’t want you, just ……”
“That’s good, Shu, as long as you don’t push me away and still act like you did when you were little!” His face changed a few chunks, and almost gleefully he brought a basket of things out of the car.
With eyes full of smiles, he said, “I know you miss the fruit in Huai’an’s yard, didn’t I tell you last time that I bought that yard and I planted some fruit in it, using seeds left over from my old mother-in-law, there are tomatoes that you like to eat, and green mangoes!”
I looked at him, for a moment feeling familiar and strange, he had always been cold and bloodthirsty, how could he do all this?
Up to now, I hadn’t been able to figure out his temperament.