Chapter 183
His wrist was tugged to raw pain, his face was gloomy, “You and I are the same, Shen Shu, you can’t deny it, Fu Shen Yan doesn’t love you, you know it very well.”
He fell on my stomach and became cold and heartless, “This child, is not as wonderful as you expect, as for Muzi, you know better in your heart, she will leave one day, so you are an island like me, if so, why don’t you want to be with me, whatever you want, I will give it to you, we form a small family together, like before Like before, in Huai’an’s courtyard together in peace and quiet, isn’t that good?”
I wrinkled my eyebrows and jerked my hand away, but it was no use, raising my eyes to look at him, I was a bit annoyed with him, “Shen Yu, there are many people in this world you can go on with, don’t pester me, okay?”
He sneered, his face tinged with pain, “You don’t understand!”
I understand, people who are lonely and gloomy in their hearts won’t catch the sunlight even if they meet it, he can’t let me go, not because of love, but just because he thinks I will be like Grandma, no matter how annoying he becomes, he will never drive him away, Huaian’s small courtyard will always be his home.
With no heart to belong to, he is alone.
Faintly aware of a cold light, I couldn’t help but turn around and see Fu Shen Yan at the doorway all cold, his gaze grimly looking at me and Shen Yu.
I drew my hand back and pulled away from Shen Yu, it was instinctive, I knew I didn’t have to do this, maybe Fu Shen Yan didn’t care.
But these have become habits and cannot be changed.
Looking at Shen Yu I said, “Go back! I buried my grandmother’s in the Laoshan cemetery, so if you miss her, go see her.”
After a pause, I looked at him, his face was clear and cold, with a little despondent brutality.
“Shen Yu, a lot of things, the past is the past, can not go back, we each have to look forward, frequently look back except sadness, can not do anything.”
The alley in Huai’an, after my grandmother left I did not go back, I knew that I was alone in this world.
Like a leaf without roots, no matter how much it struggles, in the end it will just be picked up from the ground and thrown into the trash.
Without looking at Shen Yu, I went straight into the villa.
I hadn’t been back for a little over half a month and the place was unchanged, except that there were more flowers in the house to add some colour.
When she saw me, she looked at Fu Shen Yan, who had followed me in, and said with a smile, “You two, you’ve been gone for half a month, this house is about to become a home.”
After a pause, he sighed and said, “But it’s a good thing you’re all back.”
The afternoon heat, I also followed the hot and restless, originally not much to say, at this time some shallow sleepy, simply said a few words, also went back to the bedroom.
Fu Shen Yan followed me, I did not say anything, just climbed into bed, closed my eyes and prepared to sleep.
I thought Fu Shen Yan would say something, or lose his temper, but he didn’t say anything around me, and the room was exceptionally quiet.
A few moments later I felt my side cave in a few inches, and then I felt myself being pulled into an embrace.
It didn’t take long for the sound of shallow breathing to come from my ears and it wasn’t long before I was asleep.
After almost an hour of sleep, I woke up and opened my eyes to see Fu Shenyan’s handsome features beside me.
I didn’t move, I just looked at him quietly.
Chapter 184
How long had it been since I had looked at him like that?
He suddenly opened his eyes and I froze as he met all four eyes.
“Awake?” He spoke, his voice a little hoarse because he had just woken up, and lifted his hand to brush the strands of hair from my forehead behind my ears as he just looked at me in silence.
I coughed dryly at the unnatural look he was giving me and supported my arms to get up when he pressed against my waist, raising an eyebrow, “Where to?”
“To get up!” I moved and my body was pinned down by him.
I wrinkled my nose, “Fu Shen Yan, let go!”
He didn’t move, he pinned me to the bed and slid his hand onto the small of my back, five months old and already faintly feeling it.
Seeming to sense the movement of the child in his belly, a smile appeared on his originally handsome face and he raised his voice, “He seems to be moving!”
He looked so much like a child that I couldn’t help but laugh, “Mmm! I want to get up!”
When he got excited, he propped up half his body and held me up against the bed, indicating that I should lie down while he half inclined his head and put his ear to the small of my back.
Halfway through, a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth and he looked at me and said, “Do you get hard when he moves?”
I held my forehead, a little speechless, sure enough, men’s intelligence is really quite anxious sometimes.
“If you’re really curious you can check out pregnancy type books, you might even learn something that you can use later.” I propped myself up and got up, ready to get out of bed.
He hugged me from behind, “Lie down a little longer!”
I lifted my hand to break him away, my eyes fell on his arm, and I could not help but wrinkle my eyebrows, there were more scars on his arm, I could tell they were basically scrapes, the wounds had fallen off, and they were still flushed with red.
Seeing my body stiffen for a few moments, he noticed my gaze and drew his hand back for a moment, “What do you want to eat later?”
I didn’t say anything and a long silence began.
Seemingly mindful of what I was thinking, he sat down next to me and took my hand, touching it carefully, looking intimate but ultimately inarticulate.
“Was it left behind to protect Lu Xinran?” It was perhaps too blunt a question to ask, but I couldn’t really think of anything else to ask.
He gave a slight pause, and sensing his difference, I drew my hand back and said with a slight sigh, “I’m going to take a shower!”
No answer was probably the best answer, rather than hearing him tell me, with his green mouth, that all the injuries on his body were related to Lu Xinran.
I think I would prefer to be a fool and know nothing better.
His wrist was pulled by him, pulling me back to the bed, and he looked to me, his gaze firm, “Still having a hard time in your heart?”
I looked over at him and couldn’t help but stare, “Hard about what?”
“My injury!”
I looked down, a smile spilling out of the corner of my mouth as I shook my head, “No, Fu Shen Yan your death or survival doesn’t matter to me anymore.”
I knew the words would come out, that we would avoid a fight, that he would get angry.
But it was said anyway.
He looked at me, his gaze deep, and only after a long time did he say, “Shen Shu, you have never actually put me in your heart, have you?”
“Yes!” I nodded my head, my heart feeling a little hard, and exhaled, avoiding his grim gaze, “When grandpa asked me to marry you, at first I liked you because you met all the girls’ criteria for a husband, handsome and rich.”
“At first when I married you, I held the illusion of love, so I married you with a full heart, but after a long time, I found myself a bit delusional.”
A single Lu Xinran had defeated me.
