“Shen Shu, is it necessary for you to pinch yourself like this?” Fu Shen Yan’s face was not very good, a little vicissitudes.
I smiled lightly, not much emotion in my tone, “How dare I, Mr. Fu is majestic, one night almost took my life, I am afraid to avoid it.”
Fu Shen Yan ……
The atmosphere is perhaps too low, Fu Shen Yan is not willing to communicate with me too much, pulling Lu Xinran directly out of the hospital.
I was somewhat depressed, lying on the hospital bed somewhat frustrated, people go to a certain situation, they will completely lose hope for life.
In the next few days, many things happened, Chen Xing’s headlines, Lu Xinran’s acknowledgement of her ancestors, Shen Yu’s return to Jiangcheng, many things, but I didn’t pay any attention to them.
After lying quietly in the hospital for a week, counting the time, the child was already three months old and my stomach seemed to be showing some signs of pregnancy.
My belly was slightly bulging into a small hill, and I would sometimes touch it and stare at it for a while, and sometimes I would stare at the ceiling in awe.
Fu Shenyan came to the hospital basically every day and would occasionally talk to me, but we always ended up arguing.
After a few repetitions, he didn’t come to the hospital much. There was always money, and the nurses and caregivers would take care of me.
When he didn’t come, I didn’t ask questions, and Sister Zhang made me soup every day in a different way.
I don’t know if something is wrong in my heart, but when I am alone and dazed, the more I don’t want this child.
As long as I don’t have this child, I can leave Fu Shen Yan for good and live the life I want.
The more I thought about it, the more I had the urge to abort the baby.
I know it’s a disease, but I can’t help thinking about it.
At the weekend, the blue carpets on the central road of Jiangcheng were in bloom, and the streets were lined with sky blue flowers, bringing the otherwise dull city to life.
When I left the hospital today, Fu Shen Yan drove the car very slowly, as if he intended to let me enjoy the scenery along the way.
I tilted my head to look at the scenery flashing by outside the car window, my gaze getting more and more distant.
“Fu Shen Yan, I’ve lost myself for too long!” From the moment I met Fu Shen Yan, it seemed like I wasn’t me anymore.
Selfish and paranoid, cold-eyed, how did I become like this?
He frowned slightly, and his handsome face took on a little more depth, “Your belly is big too, you can put up the Huayu case for now, let’s take some time and go out for a walk!”
I knew he wanted to take me out for a walk, but I didn’t want to go anywhere right now.
Shaking my head slightly, I looked down and rubbed my stomach, “The audit of Fu’s should be over soon, I won’t be able to give birth for a while, it’s better to finish following the Huayu case!”
He was silent for a moment and nodded slightly, “Okay, if you have any problems, you can always find me.”
I stopped talking and gazed at the couple embracing by the roadside, carefully recalling these past twenty years, it seemed I had never had a good relationship with someone.
Never experienced the sweetness of being in love, or learned how to love someone, or how to enjoy someone’s love.
A quarter of my life has pa*sed and I, it seems, have always been confused.
Thinking of this, I couldn’t help but lower my eyes and smile to myself… this life, was it destined to only go on being bitter?
“What are you laughing at?” Noticing my movement, Fu Shen Yan suddenly spoke, his brow a little heavy.
I shook my head, my voice very soft, “I just suddenly thought of something and found it funny.”
“What is it?” He had the heart to ask, but I didn’t have the heart to say it.
There was silence in the car.
I got out of the car and was greeted by Mrs. Zhang, who said, “Are you feeling better? I’ve prepared some porridge for you, would you like to eat some first?”
I smiled lightly and shook my head, “Sister Zhang, you brought me chicken soup just this morning, I can’t drink it this time.”
She smiled and compromised, “Fine, then eat when you’re hungry later… Mister has set up a swing in the courtyard and moved a lot of flowers over too, do you want to go and have a look?”
I knew that she wanted me to relax and have fun, and pulled her along and laughed, “Sister-in-law Zhang, I’m fine, I’ll go back to the bedroom to rest first, don’t be busy, have a good rest too.”
When I got into the bedroom, I turned out all the clothes in the wardrobe, threw them on the bed and folded them all up and put them in the suitcase.
Fu Shen Yan came up with his things, and when he saw me like this, ice coloured his eyebrows, “What are you collecting things for?”
I folded my clothes and said, “I’m going to stay at the Yun Tong flat for a while.”
He looked at me with obvious anger, “Shen Shu, what exactly do you want?”
My heart felt a little hard, if it was before I would have torn my heart out and asked him, what do you mean what do I really want? If I hadn’t done anything, why was I the one who ended up getting hurt?
But at this point, I just looked at him, my gaze calm, “Fu Shen Yan, I didn’t want anything! I just don’t want what happened one night to happen again!”
After a pause, I pulled his hand away and continued to pack my clothes, speaking, “Fu Shen Yan, we can’t let the same mistakes, keep spreading, you and I both know that one time arguing won’t solve the problem, I also know that you don’t love me, and I, too, will start to try to let go.”
“What do you mean, let go?” He sneered, “Shen Shu, what is this so-called letting go of Me?”
I didn’t know why he was so agitated and sighed slightly, “Don’t dwell on it, this child, I will give birth to him peacefully and raise him well, I won’t interfere in your and Lu Xinran’s affairs.”
“Shen Shu!” The movement in my hand was pressed down by him, his face was cold and his body exuded a strong hostile aura, “How many times do you want me to say that there is nothing between me and Lu Xinran? Are you in such a hurry to leave, have you already thought of a way out for yourself?”
I twisted my eyebrows, not really wanting to argue with him, “Fu Shen Yan, do you think you’re not at fault in all of this?”
His face sank, “Do you want me to admit my fault?”
I didn’t know what to say, so if he didn’t let me get my clothes, I didn’t take anything and got up and left the bedroom.
He fiercely circled me from behind and then slammed the bedroom door shut, his face metaphorical, “I won’t stop you from living there if you want to, but that’s when you have the baby, and until you do, you have to live here.”
“Heh!” I wanted to laugh, to laugh out loud, “Fu Shen Yan, do you think you care about the child in my belly or your Fu Shen Yan’s reputation? If you cared about this child, how come he almost had a miscarriage twice because of you? You’re really too ridiculous!”
Looking at his complicated face, I laughed even more, “What is this, you keeping me here? Is it that you want me to face this familiar house every day, and then live every day under the gloom of how you are trying to get killed?”
Perhaps my words stung him and his dark eyes narrowed as he leaned closer to me and spoke with a cold expression, “So, in your mind, I’m already this bad?”
I laughed coldly, “Isn’t it?”
Fu ShenYan’s face was hard to see, “Shen Shu, your so-called love is just like that.”