I lowered my eyes and raised my hand to rub my somewhat sore eyes, “It was wrong from the start, and since it was wrong, let’s split up and start all over before it’s too late!”
“Heh!” He laughed coldly, “What’s wrong? What do you mean by starting from scratch, Shen Shu, is this your death sentence for me?”
I raised my eyes and looked at him, my emotions didn’t fluctuate, “I won’t take any of the Fu family’s things, including the Huayu that grandpa transferred to my name, I’m getting out of the house, all of this, even if it’s my repayment to grandpa for taking care of me back then.”
He lowered his dark eyes, his thin lips trembling slightly with a cold smile and suppressed anger, “And the reason?”
I smiled lightly, having come all this way and experienced so much, I seemed to have no emotions left, I was able to press whatever came up inside me and let it rot bit by bit.
“Married to you for three years, I knew from the day I stepped into the Fu family that Lu Xinran was a special existence to you, and I had planned for it from the beginning, even if one day you separated from me for her, I was able to figure it out.”
I grinned at his dark eyes, but I couldn’t smile after all, “You didn’t protect me, you didn’t even love me, you didn’t make me fall in love with me, I wasn’t good enough, I don’t blame you, but Fu Shen Yan, you shouldn’t have relied on my stupidity, I love you, so you hurt me without any bottom line principle, and you shouldn’t have counted me and your flesh and blood for the sake of Lu Xin Ran’s life path. ”
He opened his mouth, his eyes pressed extremely low, “What did Lu Xinran say to you?”
I pursed my lips, my fingertips pricking into my palm to ease the pain in my heart, “She said everything she needed to say, since I was a child, I actually didn’t want to find my biological parents at all, you wanted Lu Xinran to hijack my identity and wanted to give her a promising future, I don’t feel bad at all, but you shouldn’t have pulled me down, I mentioned it in the beginning, as long as you divorced me and I took the kids. I can get by just fine, you and Lu Xinran rely on the Mo family’s network of connections, you can go further and further.”
“Shen Shu ……” he spoke, his eyes sombre, his voice pressed with a million emotions.
I drew a cold breath, “But why did you, you messed up my life, made me go through life and death after life and death, and dragged the people around me into it, and in the end you wouldn’t let me go, what did I do? To make you so disgusted and hateful that you want to stay around for a hundred years like this?”
“I ……” he spoke, his voice choked, I sighed and tried to laugh, but couldn’t, “I’ll get the divorce papers drawn up, Fu Shen Yan, as a last respect to me, please, let me go. ”
His eyes were scarlet as he looked at me, waves of sinking pain swooning away.
I closed my eyes and drew a breath, “You go.”
My grandmother said, “This life is very short, some people live it in a muddle, some live it in a clear way, no matter how you live it, as long as your heart feels happy.
But I, it seemed, had lived my life in a muddle for so many years, and now I wanted to live it clearly, and this change almost cost me half my life.
He looked at me and was silent for a long time. The light in the room was so bright that it hurt my eyes and I closed them.
I closed my eyes. I simply pulled the covers off and closed my eyes and stopped looking at anything.
When Lin Wan and Mo Zhi Zhan arrived, they saw Fu Shen Yan standing by the hospital bed in a disheveled state, his whole body inwardly gloomy.
After another look at me on the bed, Lin Wan spoke up, “Why did you vomit blood? Did you find out what’s wrong?”
I did not speak, nor did I have the strength to speak, nor did I even want to say anything.
Fu Shenyin looked at them, his gaze appallingly deep, but still didn’t say anything, and so the long silence began.
For the next few days, Fu Shen Yan came to the hospital, and so did Lin Wan and Mo Zhi Zhan, only it seemed like everyone chose to be silent as if they had made an appointment.
It was not a serious illness, so I was discharged three days later.
Fu Shenyan picked me up and took me back to the villa.
I seemed to be used to the silence, and looking at all the familiar objects in my bedroom, I suddenly felt how ridiculous this third of my life had been.
There wasn’t really anything to take with me, from the time I entered the Fu family, basically everything I had was purchased by Fu Shen Yan, I had brought almost nothing except my ID card and graduation certificate.
“It’s very late today, it’s not safe for you to go out now, have a good rest today.” Fu Shen Yan, who was following me, spoke up and pressed down on my hand that was packing my luggage.
I pursed my lips and indifferently withdrew my hand, looking at him with a light expression, “No, thanks for your kindness, Mr. Fu.”
He narrowed his eyebrows, the gloom on his face pressed even thicker, “Shen Shu, must we go this far? We could have done without this.”
I lost my smile, “Yes, we could have done without this, but why did I end up going this far?”
He pursed his lips, a mixture of gloom and pain on his face, “I’m sorry!”
“If the baby and Muzi could both come back, that’s a sorry I’d be happy to accept.” The man with the sharp knife in his hand, a light sentence of sorry erased all his faults, ridiculous.
It was February and it was drizzling outside, cold and icy as I pulled my suitcase out of his hands.
Out of the bedroom and standing in front of the villa, I sighed with relief that finally this was over.
Jon drove over, his hair made short and dry and spirited, and carried my suitcase to the car.
He looked at me, “Let’s go!”
When I got into the car, Fu Shen Yan stood in the doorway, his gaze deep and distant.
This goodbye was a long farewell.
The car was far away, and he was still standing in place, his tall, slender body, looking more and more blurred under the cold, fine rain.
“Maybe everything isn’t so bad that it’s not necessary to go!” Jon spoke, his voice warm.
I held the divorce papers in my hand and smiled lightly, “Jon, some things seem to be behind us to the naked eye, but it’s like a thorn that wakes one up every now and then in the dead of night and bleeds.”
From the time the child’s accident to learning of Muzi’s death, I made excuses for myself at every turn, blaming everything on Lin Wan, I blamed her for all my hatred and resentment, and then convinced myself time and time again to ignore Fu Shenyan.
He was actually innocent, there was nothing he could do about the child, there was no way he could care about what happened to Muzi, even when he took care of Lu Xinran, I told myself time and time again that he was only doing it out of duty and obligation.
I wasn’t that petty, it was all acceptable, as long as he treated me and took me to heart, what was all this!
But I didn’t think about it, all of this started with him knowingly committing a crime, he knew that Lin Wan and Mo Zhi Zhan were my parents, I don’t resent him for not telling me, nor do I resent him for swapping my DNA with Lu Xin Ran’s.
The only thing I can’t let go of is the fact that he knew that Lin Wan and I were mother and daughter, and he still watched coldly as Lin Wan hurt me, and watched coldly as my resentment towards Lin Wan grew.